


Playback

by the_empty_man



Series: Missing In Action [2]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I continue to be angsty about the end of season 2, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Possible Character Death, Spoilers but only for up to Episode 28, The focus is on Minkowski's feelings about having lost Eiffel, even tho there's plenty of more recent angst fuel, part of a series of one-shots about the aftermath of Episode 28
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 04:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11982147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_empty_man/pseuds/the_empty_man
Summary: Everyone deals with grief differently. On Day 691, Hera glitches, Lovelace investigates and Minkowski yells.





	Playback

"Hera?" Minkowski called out. No response. Something was wrong. Of course, it wouldn't be the Hephaestus if there weren't several things wrong at once. But right now something was more wrong than usual. In the 30 minutes Minkowski had been working on these repairs, Hera had already failed to respond to an order seven times. Even in light of the star's interference and the lingering effects of Hilbert's damage, it was out of character (or programming) for her to be this unreliable. "Hera?" Minkowski repeated. "You never got back to me about the pressure in the engine bay."

"Oh s-sorry, Commander, I'll just l-look into that now-" Hera sounded upset.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, S-Sir."

"Hera," Minkowski pressed, warningly.

"I'm j-just a little d-d-distracted, that's all." With each glitch in Hera's voice, Minkowski's concern increased.

"With what?" The other crew members were meant to be sleeping. Minkowski herself was only working on repairs now because she hadn't been able to sleep.

"Just l-looking into something for Captain Lovelace." Isabel Lovelace never seemed to sleep. Not that Minkowski could talk, nowadays.

"What's she making you do?"

"I'm p-p-playing her some audio f-from my m-memory files." 

"When from?"

"Errr... D-day 666," Hera admitted reluctantly. 

Minkowski knew which day that was. She'd never be able to forget it. No wonder Hera was distressed if she was having to relive that. "Play me what you're playing her right now," Minkowski asked Hera.

The recording crackled through the speakers and Minkowski heard her own frantic voice: _back towards the Hephaestus. Can you comply?_ Then his voice came through, the voice she desperately wished she could hear for real, the voice she missed more than she missed gravity. _I-- there's no -- I --- get -- ship --._

There was a ridiculous part of her that wanted to call out to Eiffel, to ask Hera to find his position, to rush to the controls and actually save him this time. Instead she just floated there, listening to her own voice from the past sounding so stupidly, pathetically helpless. _Hera, we need to do something!_

"Stop it," Minkowski ordered Hera. She didn't want to hear the rest. She didn't want to hear herself promising not to leave him out there. She didn't want to hear him calling her Commander, a title she didn't deserve, the last word he'd ever say to her. She didn't want to hear the awful silence of the moment the line went dead. She didn't want to hear herself shouting his name into the void. She didn't want to hear herself cry.

She didn't want Lovelace to hear any of that either. Hera stopped playing the recording. Minkowski looked down at her hands, still clutching the spanner for the repairs, and realized she was trembling. She'd mentally replayed those moments a hundred times, but actually hearing them was different. She swallowed the nausea rising in her throat.

"C-Commander, are you o-okay?" 

"Patch me through to Lovelace now." Hera obeyed silently. The comms system had hardly given its connecting buzz before Minkowski started yelling. "Captain, what the hell do you think gives you the right to listen to that? And to make Hera relive it?"

"I needed to hear exactly what happened,” said Lovelace stiffly.

"Because you don't trust me?" Minkowski challenged. It was a Commander's job to keep her crew informed. Minkowski had already told Lovelace what had happened.

“Because I didn't want to upset you by asking for more details," Lovelace said. Minkowski's scorching glare was wasted on arguments over the intercom. How dare Lovelace suggest she was too emotional to do her job? 

“But it was okay to upset Hera?” Minkowski shouted.

“C-c-commander, I'm f-fine,” Hera insisted, glitching again.

"Stay out of this Hera. Let me deal with her." Minkowski ordered.

“I knew she could handle it," Lovelace insisted.  
"Haven't you noticed how much she's been glitching since you asked her to do this? Do you even care whether you're hurting her?"

"I didn't force her," Lovelace said. Minkowski threw the spanner at the opposite wall with a loud clank.  
“Don't give me that crap. You know she has to respond to orders. Just because she's not human doesn't mean it's okay to treat her like this! To make her go through the memory of losing her friend!"

"He-" Lovelace's voice broke. "He was my friend too." None of them corrected her use of the past tense, even though Eiffel could still be alive out there. "I had to know h-"

"You thought you'd check it out because you were curious? That you could listen back like it was some exciting radio show?" Minkowski shouted, cutting Lovelace off. "Did you not consider how personal that recording is? Did the possibility even occur to you that maybe I didnt want you to hear one of the worst moments of my life? That perhaps I didnt want you to listen to me failing to save him? He needed my help and I left him out there to die in space! And I never want anyone to listen to that!" The words came pouring out, full of anger and grief and guilt. Minkowski hated herself for revealing her own weakness. She was glad Lovelace couldn't see the tears pooling on her cheeks.

There was a long moment of silence. Minkowski tried to breathe deeply. Her throat felt like sandpaper from shouting, but her anger was slipping away from her beneath the sea of grief.

"I know how it feels not to be able to save someone," Lovelace said softly. 

"I know," Minkowski said. She suddenly remembered listening to Lovelace's logs with Eiffel, a lifetime ago. They'd heard her telling Fisher to get inside, just before the meteor shower hit him. "Does it still hurt like this?" Minkowski asked the childish question before she could help herself.

"It never stops hurting. But you get used to it. You live with it." Lovelace sighed. "Be a big girl, Minkowski."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I'd love to hear what you think! I have far too many feelings about Minkowski and Eiffel tbh...


End file.
